Jon Stewart's Commencement Address

If you didn’t see Jon Stewart’s Commencement Address at William and Mary, a transcript is now on their web site…

As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall, yet my head is the same size it is now. Didn’t even really look like a head, it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality.